spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
My vagina is officially offended.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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