i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
