my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
