dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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