I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Found the puke drawer
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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