i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize