ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
