My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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