His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
