haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize