sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
