Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize