you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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