i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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