was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
