Quick, to the slutcave!
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
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