all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize