i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
