your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
