haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
