We're facebook friends in real life
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
