I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
