cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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