Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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