She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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