oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Randomize
