I feel like I'm in dance class right now
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
