omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
