if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize