He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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