on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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