dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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