we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
