dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
