Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
