If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
