Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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