Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
birth control should be required to get into college
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
