I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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