Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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