She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
