how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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