I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize