Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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