somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
