Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
