Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
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You made out with two different species that night
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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