u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
