just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Also, beer. Big fan.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Randomize
