In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
