dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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