Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
