Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
