Don't you send me to vm
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
whose parrot is this?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
