I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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