My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
