oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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