Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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