I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
