there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
