UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
